The greatest moments of 2014

It's New Year's Eve. Typically, I spend this time reflecting on the year, promising myself not to make the same mistakes I made yesteryear blah blah blah. But this year I thought instead of reflecting solely on my own experiences in the past 12 months that thinking about the 7 greatest moments of 2014 (in my terms. It is unlikely that any scientific breakthroughs will make my list and for that I apologise). So in no particular order ...

Wolf of Wall Street. What an amazing, sexually graphic film you wouldn't want to watch with your parents. A ''based on a true story'' film about the rise and ultimate demise of a lying, cheating stock broker featuring a lot of swearing, sex and drug use. This for me was my favourite film of 2014 and one I have watched over and over again. (If only for Leo). I personally believe he was robbed of that Oscar.

 The World Cup. Never ever a phrase I thought I would use in the same sentence as ''greatest moments'' but there's no denying I got pulled into the hype and excitement of all those overpaid adulterous men kicking a ball around. (Not sexist, accurate). A particular highlight for me was when Brazil scored an own goal, then later proceeded to lose 7-1 to Germany. Even I realised the huge enormity/embarrassment Brazil faced at this stage of the competition.

The infamous ''Oscar selfie'' containing more A Lister per square inch than any other photo in existence. Whether you're partial to a selfie or not, I think we were all in awe at celebrities of such a high calibre jumping on the bandwagon and posing for a photo.

Frozen broke almost every record going and taught impressionable young girls everywhere '' hey its ok to be alone'' and that actually, you don't always need a man/Disney Prince to rescue you. With subtle feminism and a song so irritatingly fun to sing Frozen is now the most successful animated film of all time. Well played Elsa.

Apple and Facebook planned to cover the cost of freezing the eggs of their female employees.The motivation behind this aside it being an obvious ''perk of the job'' is that it allows working women more flexibility and control over when they decide to reproduce, and not being dictated to by their biological clocks. A controversial issue and one that has feminists up in arms on both sides, I think such large corporations offering benefits to women is great and a huge leap forward towards equality in the workplace. 

 The Lego Movie came out and was AWESOME! I've lost count of how many times I've seen this film. At 23, I'm confident I'm not the only one who appreciates the immediate mood booster associated with watching it. Hugely successful and funny for all ages this was my favourite kids film of the year. 

Angelina Jolie's impressive speech about the use of sexual violence at war. I will be the first to admit I'm team Aniston all the way and stealing someone else's husband is never ok, but in terms of her political stance and her powerful speech to the UN Jolie smashed it, and has brought light to such a taboo subject. With all the conflict happening around the world at any given point often the women in those areas are forgotten about, but in time hopefully rape will no longer be used as an act of violence, and considered ''inevitable'' at war.

I wonder what 2015 will bring? Calorie free pizza? The demise of ISIS? Here's hoping...

Happy New Year! 

7 things NOT to do this Christmas

The festive season is often associated with overindulgence. Which is all well and good - but everything in moderation people. Using inspiration from my beautiful friend Ellen and my own personal experiences on previous years, here are 7 things to avoid doing this festive season.

1) It's always good to avoid getting so drunk on Christmas Eve you spend most of Christmas Day hungover. Your mum/aunty/grandparents will have spent all day cooking for you to struggle to keep anything down. You'll be rubbish company and everyone will be pissed off about it. Christmas Day is only once a year and you can go out and get hammered any other of the 364 nights of the year without ruining Christmas for everyone. Be sensible and be aware of the guilt trip you're in for if you spend all day in bed Christmas Day.

2) Eating an entire selection box/Quality Street tin to yourself in one sitting. This won't be good for your waistline and you'll just feel sluggish and crap afterwards. This is easily done so it's best to strategically position the chocolate so it isn't easy to consume the entire thing in 15 minutes. It'll also help avoiding the inevitable ''who ate all the bloody chocolates?'' argument when family members notice they've disappeared.

3) Listening to ''All I Want For Christmas Is You'' so many times that texting your ex/neighbour/milkman seems like a really good idea.  When in a wine/Quality Street induced state it's often hard to distinguish what are your genuine feelings and what's just you feeling sentimental because of Mariah Carey bleating on in the background. But approach with caution. If you wouldn't say it to them on January 1st don't say it on December 25th.

4) Definitely do not confess your love for your boss at the work Christmas party under any circumstances or any alcohol influence. (Unless you do love him, but that's a whole other blog post). I won't even elaborate on this one as it should be pretty obvious but you'll only make work horrifically awkward for yourself and spend the next 3 months avoiding walking past his desk for as long as possible. His wife won't be happy either. It's also wise to avoid turning up dressed like this:

(Unless you work in a strip club, in which case crack on).

5) Be ungrateful. No word of a lie, one year my dad got me and my brother ''humorous Post It Notes'' as a present and I managed to force a smile and be grateful. People don't always get their presents 'spot on' but to avoid looking like a massive brat and hurting anyone's feelings gratitude and appreciation should be shown at all times. And for the record those Post It Notes did come in handy eventually...

6) Avoid leaving Christmas shopping till the last minute. I work in retail and can only imagine the hoards of blokes that'll be panic buying their significant other presents the day before Christmas. For god's sake you have 364 days to prepare for Christmas there is no excuse for leaving things so late. By that point a lot of Christmas stock has run out so they'll be pretty limited options available. And she'll definitely be able to tell if it was something bought in a mad panic rather than a lovely, well thought out gift. ''A lint roller? Really?''

7) Most of all, don't forget that Christmas for many is a religious holiday, and for all is a time for family, fires and Trivial Pursuit. So don't stress, be ungrateful or get so hammered you openly admit the sprouts are horrible. Have fun, be gracious and above all enjoy the most wonderful time of the year.

7 things you learn while being a student

I have had a nightmare 2 weeks at uni. Deadlines coming out my ears with various misspelled assignment briefs has left relatively straightforward assignments 100 times harder. When I sit and think about what I've actually learned this year, I feel I've learned more in terms of ''how to survive uni'' than anything particularly marketing related. Which is great given the amount of debt I'm getting in to study marketing. Awesome. Below are the 7 things I've learned:

1) It doesn't matter how much notice you're given on an assignment deadline, you will leave it till the last minute and have numerous nervous breakdowns 48 hours before it's due in. You will then vow to never leave it that late again before starting - but of course, you never really learn. Procrastination is rife and watching Harry Potter start to finish is vastly more important than starting your 3,500 word report.

2) The importance of Coffee/energy drinks/your energy boost of choice. Largely tied in with the point above, without coffee I would never have the energy or willpower to stay up till 2am the day before a deadline finishing off an assignment. In fact before coming to uni I never even drank coffee. I owe at least 50% of my degree to coffee. God bless you.

3) Coming to uni and going to lectures essentially means you're paying 9 grand a year to watch someone talk over a Powerpoint presentation. That's pretty much it. (I hope for the love of god none of my lecturers ever stumble across this I can't see it going down well) But yeah. A bit depressing when you think of the utter ball ache assignments are in comparison to the role they actually play in it,

4) There is nothing more soul destroying than group work. It makes you question whether or not you're a sociopath due to your pure hatred for having to interact with other human beings to get a piece of work done. More often than not it's left till the last minute which results in mad panic meetings the day before the deadline. I see a trend appearing...

5) With looming deadlines, daily lectures and other social commitments sleep soon becomes a luxury rather than a god given right. I, for the past 2 weeks have realised how much I in fact take sleep for granted. There's a common misconception that all students do is nap all day. I'd like to know who these students are and what they're studying.

6) The library, the place you scoffed at during your first year is now your second home. The only place that is dull enough to make doing assignments the more appealing option. Before deadlines I've calculated I've actually spent more time in the library than in my own house - unbelievably depressing.

7) Declaring yourself poverty stricken 3 weeks after your student loan has been and gone. Doesn't matter how much or how little you're entitled to, it just never stretches far enough. The gap from September to January is a never ending cycle of eating whatever discounted, inedible food Tesco have on offer/weird concoctions you can create with what's left in the fridge. How are we expected to pay rent and go out 4 times a week with this?

So any sixth formers reading this wondering whether to go to uni or not - do it. It's SO worth it..


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7 girl things we shouldn't have to justify

Being a girl is great fun. But as time goes on things that were once considered socially acceptable are sometimes frowned upon. Below is a list of things I personally do regularly that I don't think we should ever have to apologise for/feel ashamed of. Embrace your ovaries!

1) Wearing ''too much''/not enough makeup. Makeup is down to personal preference and I personally love it. There really shouldn't be any judgement associated with how much a person decides to wear. Good god don't even get me started on this issue. Go ahead and wear 4 layers of lip gloss with pride its got bugger all to do with anyone else. On the same note, there really shouldn't be any shame associated with not wearing loads of makeup. Or in fact any makeup at all. It's personal preference people! It's your face, rock it however you wish. - (although a bit of mascara never killed anyone - just sayin).

2) Eating the entire contents of a multi bag of crisps/4 muffins/a whole Galaxy bar in one sitting. My stance on this is providing you aren't doing it too often a little bit of what you fancy isn't against the law - knock yourself out. Sometimes you've eaten them all before you even know what's happened.

3) Going to the gym too often/not enough. This, again is down to personal preference and if you have the determination and willpower to go everyday you go girl! People in the past have criticized me and my gym habits but I'm gonna do what I'm gonna do. Equally, skipping the gym once in a while isn't going to make you fat and often rest days are the best days. It's all about balance so don't feel ashamed if you miss a session. Just get back on the wagon the following day and all is well with the world. But if you do have the motivation to get up and go do it!

4) Deciding which hotel/bar to go to based on whether or not they have wifi. It's 2014 and wifi is pretty much essential for the majority of us so don't feel ashamed if it's in your top priorities when picking places to go, The first thing I ask when arriving anywhere is ''is there wifi?'' First world problems.

5) Crying at the last episode of Friends/Sex and the City regardless of the fact you've already seen it 3 times this month. As soon as Rachel says ''I got off the plane'' I'm in bits. They just belong together ok.

6) Listening to the Spice Girls/any other ancient manufactured music considered 'crap' by some men and hipsters. I've been listening to the Spice Girls since I was 5 and I will continue to do so 20 years later. Ginger Spice taught me everything I know about girl power and controversial or not - had me believing in the feminist movement from a very early age. Zigazig ah. 

7) Having a day/night where you ignore all your calls and texts. Obviously if your best mate's in labour this is probably inappropriate but I think every so often having some time where you ignore the outside world and enjoy some alone time is great. Do not disturb mode is nearly always switched on on my iPhone and I bloody love it. Nobody's interrupting me watching America's Next Top Model for nothin'. 

I realise this list kind of embraces all the stereotypical things girls supposedly do and I'll be the first to put my hand up and say - yeah I am a muffin eating, Friends weeping wannabe Spice Girl.

The 7 stages of shopping online

''STOP. Step away from the laptop'' is something I wish someone would yell at me before I purchase my 65th perfume, 32nd blusher and replacement microwave I decided 10 minutes ago was a necessity. Yesterday I ordered a maxi dress knowing full well I won't be able to wear it till April next year at the earliest. Ridiculous. This is a familiar pattern for me, you'd only need to ask John the DHL guy or the miserable postman (Thursdays & Saturdays).  Given the general misery on the postman's face each day I highly doubt I'm the only one with such habits, so below I've listed the 7 stages I go through when shopping online in the vain hope that I'm not alone...

1) ''I'm just gonna look on ASOS but not buy anything'' said no one ever. This is virtually impossible. My dad once said ''you spend so much on ASOS you should be a shareholder'' and he's not wrong. But browsing ASOS or similar sites results in realising you need 10 items of clothing you didn't even know existed 10 minutes ago. At this point, all that matters is getting to the checkout before they sell out in your size. GO GO GO

2) Once you've placed your order self justification sounds something like ''but I really need that black pair of heels that are identical to my other 23 pairs of black heels!'' Whether you're justifying it to yourself or someone else you are guaranteed to find an excuse for ordering something you really, could live without need. This is a necessity. This pair of shoes/bra/blusher is going to change my life. Honest!

3) Immediate regret. After the initial adrenaline rush of ordering subsides you realise that actually, you probably don't need them and that £65 could have been better spent elsewhere. Oh and O2 has decided this is the optimal time to remind you that  you haven't paid your phone bill yet. Bugger. Oh well. Those shoes were an investment and you'll definitely have an excuse to wear them eventually.
e.g. when you're taken to court for not paying your phone bill

4) The anticipation whilst waiting for a delivery is intense. You watch the clock. You tweet about it. You stand and look out the window waiting for the postman to turn up. You tweet about it again. It's all very exciting and probably the best part of online shopping. It's almost as if everyday is like Christmas right? If you're like me and you order in such a mad frenzy you forget half of what you've bought until it arrives then it really is like a present to yourself.

5) It's arrived! You rip it out of the packaging with such velocity several nails are broken by the end but it's ok. You've got your 24th pair of black heels so all is well with the world. The postman is now your best mate and you're in a good mood for the rest of the day. God bless the internet.

This emoji is used a lot during the 5th stage. She's got her shit together. She knows. 

6)The inevitable Instagram post. If you don't Instagram about a new outfit/product you've bought it may as well not exist. It's the female equivalent to the male ''killer gym session brah'' brag status. If your friends and the 40 randomers that follow you don't know about it, it didn't happen. (#shopaholicproblems - for bonus points)

 7) It's the end of an era. The shoes have arrived. You've calmed down. The vicious cycle has come full circle finally. The shoes have been worn round the flat long enough for the novelty to have worn off and for them to be tidied away with your 23 other pairs.

Until next time ASOS, until next time. 

7 things I couldn't wait to do when I was a kid that is now a pain in the arse

My childhood was short lived. By the age of 10 I was chasing boys and obsessed with reading about ''pop stars'' in Smash Hits magazine (shout out to all the nineties kids!) As early as I can remember I was wishing I was older, wanting to wear nicer clothes and be what I considered a proper adult. But with getting older comes a huge amount of responsibility not to mention an entirely new beauty routine.

Below are 7 things I couldn't wait to do as a girl that I now, for the most part resent.

Picking out my own clothes
In fairness to my parents I was always allowed a degree of control over what I wore. But there's no denying that phase of childhood where parents parade you around in some of the most horrific clothes imaginable. I remember as a child always being excited at the prospect of buying my own clothes and being able to completely avoid horrendous getups like this...

but it's bloody expensive. Clothes are easily my biggest expense and as much as I love them reverting back to a time where what I wear didn't matter would be nice - even if only for a day.

Shaving
This is a bit weird. Not entirely sure why but from an early age I couldn't wait to be old enough to be allowed to shave my legs. In fact in hindsight I went behind my dad's back and started doing it at about 10/11 regardless of whether or not I had permission. Shaving is a massive commitment. It's a part time job in itself, keeping on top of all the areas that need upkeep not to mention the cost associated with buying razors, shaving gel and the like. Now I'm in a position where its no longer a choice but a necessity I wish I hadn't started so young.

Plucking my eyebrows
From 2003 - 2009 I didn't really have any. Due to massive over plucking as a teen my eyebrows are almost none existent even today. (Thank god for eyebrow pencils!) Everyone warned me ''once you start you won't be able to stop'' and man were they right. Having to keep on top of eyebrow grooming is the thing I resent most on this list and find the most tedious. It takes bloody ages to get eyebrows back into an acceptable shape with very little reward. When was the last time someone complimented how well you've plucked your eyebrows? Exactly.

Wearing a bra
I have vivid memories of stuffing my bra with socks as a girl. I wanted boobs more than anything. Again, not entirely sure why. In retrospect I WISH I'd made the most of my 11 year old boy's figure, being able to sleep on my stomach comfortably, run around without being in pain etc. Wearing a bra is often uncomfortable and nowadays there's no greater feeling than taking your bra off after a long day.

Dying and cutting my hair
When I was 13 I dyed my hair red in a pub toilet. Since then my hair has gone from the blackest of blacks (epic life fail) to blonde and various shades in between. As I entered my teens my hair got darker and I couldn't wait to be able to dye it. Now it's an expensive pain in the arse. Blonde hair needs retouching every 6 weeks to avoid looking like a hood rat and it ain't cheap! If I could tell my 13 year old self something it would be leave your hair alone! (and for the love of god step away from the black dye)

Getting my nails done
I used to love having my nails painted as a kid and couldn't wait to be old enough to warrant getting a professional manicure. In fact I haven't not had my nails done in about 6 years. I love having neat nails and regardless of the annoyance they sometimes cause and how impossible they make texting I'll continue to get them done. However, there's no disputing the fact that when you think about it, paying 35 quid to have a complete stranger glue bits of plastic to your finger tips is actually quite extortionate.

Wearing heels
I love love love heels. If there's one thing I think is always a sound investment it's a nice pair of heels. I was stumbling around in my mum's shoes as soon as I could walk. I LOVED them. Something about them being exclusively for women and very girly meant I couldn't wait to wear them all the time! To a degree this is still true. I have more pairs of heels than I do friends and I'm ok with that. But there's no denying they aren't always the most comfortable footwear. Definitely designed by a man high heels can be borderline crippling and as much as it is individual choice to wear them once you've set yourself that standard it's hard to stop. I should have eased myself into it and learned to walk before I could run.

Overall as much as I absolutely adore 'embracing my femininity' I wish I hadn't wished it upon myself so young. I'll never get those boob-free years back and my eyebrows are still paying the price.

The 7 stages of getting ready for a night out

It's Saturday night. You've been looking forward to it all week and finally its here. The weekend!

For me, on more occasions than I'd like to admit getting ready for a night out has actually been the best part. But the question always remains - why does it take us so long to get ready? Blokes stereotypically moan about how long it takes so calling on my own experience I've whittled the military operation down into 7 stages: (don't worry if you don't experience each stage clearly you've just got your shit together) to try and shed some light on this weekly issue.

1)The ''fresh from the shower, lets sit in our towel for an hour and a half'' phase which I'm definitely guilty of. No idea why I do it, but I do. My brother's friends once asked if I actually own clothes due to them only ever seeing me in a dressing gown.

2)The ''I've got ages before I need to go out so I'm just gonna potter about'' phase where I've been known to alphabetise DVDs, organise my makeup drawer etc. Basically doing everything except anything productive. Overestimating how long I've got to get ready always leaves me in a mad panic 5 minutes before I need to be out the door.

3) Makeup. I'm sure the vast majority of humanity aren't as accident prone as me but doing my makeup for a night out always ends in powder, fake tan and just about everything else going everywhere. I've ruined several carpets in my time just by getting ready on them. Spillages a plenty the applying makeup phase is my favourite part of getting ready but definitely the messiest.

4) Once the face and hair is done its onto the ''but I have nothing to wear!'' panic attack whilst staring at a wardrobe rammed with clothes. We currently live in a culture where (rightly or wrongly) wearing the same thing more than once in a short space of time is frowned upon by Facebook/Instagram stalkers who will notice. My adherence to this definitely keeps ASOS in business.

5) Once the ''time to put some clothes on'' phase commences I change my outfit about 4 times before just putting back on what I originally chose. This particular phase annoys me the most - what was once a tidy wardrobe now looks like Primark on Boxing Day. Piles of clothes everywhere organising and tidying them up is definitely how you wanted to spend your Sunday morning hangover isn't it?

6) Perfume. Good grief. I love the stuff but before a night out you can smell my perfume application from about 3 doors down. There's something about going to a bar/club that warrants 4 times the recommended/socially acceptable amount of perfume. After the initial 10 minute spritz attack the bedroom is off limits to anyone who doesn't want to go out smelling like a baby prostitute  flower.

7) #SELFIE! Whether you post it or not is irrelevant - we all take selfies before we go out and finding the perfect lighting/pose means the taxi driver is sat outside waiting with the meter running but by 3 pre drinks down you don't even notice.