The 7 stages of getting ready for a night out

It's Saturday night. You've been looking forward to it all week and finally its here. The weekend!

For me, on more occasions than I'd like to admit getting ready for a night out has actually been the best part. But the question always remains - why does it take us so long to get ready? Blokes stereotypically moan about how long it takes so calling on my own experience I've whittled the military operation down into 7 stages: (don't worry if you don't experience each stage clearly you've just got your shit together) to try and shed some light on this weekly issue.

1)The ''fresh from the shower, lets sit in our towel for an hour and a half'' phase which I'm definitely guilty of. No idea why I do it, but I do. My brother's friends once asked if I actually own clothes due to them only ever seeing me in a dressing gown.

2)The ''I've got ages before I need to go out so I'm just gonna potter about'' phase where I've been known to alphabetise DVDs, organise my makeup drawer etc. Basically doing everything except anything productive. Overestimating how long I've got to get ready always leaves me in a mad panic 5 minutes before I need to be out the door.

3) Makeup. I'm sure the vast majority of humanity aren't as accident prone as me but doing my makeup for a night out always ends in powder, fake tan and just about everything else going everywhere. I've ruined several carpets in my time just by getting ready on them. Spillages a plenty the applying makeup phase is my favourite part of getting ready but definitely the messiest.

4) Once the face and hair is done its onto the ''but I have nothing to wear!'' panic attack whilst staring at a wardrobe rammed with clothes. We currently live in a culture where (rightly or wrongly) wearing the same thing more than once in a short space of time is frowned upon by Facebook/Instagram stalkers who will notice. My adherence to this definitely keeps ASOS in business.

5) Once the ''time to put some clothes on'' phase commences I change my outfit about 4 times before just putting back on what I originally chose. This particular phase annoys me the most - what was once a tidy wardrobe now looks like Primark on Boxing Day. Piles of clothes everywhere organising and tidying them up is definitely how you wanted to spend your Sunday morning hangover isn't it?

6) Perfume. Good grief. I love the stuff but before a night out you can smell my perfume application from about 3 doors down. There's something about going to a bar/club that warrants 4 times the recommended/socially acceptable amount of perfume. After the initial 10 minute spritz attack the bedroom is off limits to anyone who doesn't want to go out smelling like a baby prostitute  flower.

7) #SELFIE! Whether you post it or not is irrelevant - we all take selfies before we go out and finding the perfect lighting/pose means the taxi driver is sat outside waiting with the meter running but by 3 pre drinks down you don't even notice.