The greatest moments of 2014

It's New Year's Eve. Typically, I spend this time reflecting on the year, promising myself not to make the same mistakes I made yesteryear blah blah blah. But this year I thought instead of reflecting solely on my own experiences in the past 12 months that thinking about the 7 greatest moments of 2014 (in my terms. It is unlikely that any scientific breakthroughs will make my list and for that I apologise). So in no particular order ...

Wolf of Wall Street. What an amazing, sexually graphic film you wouldn't want to watch with your parents. A ''based on a true story'' film about the rise and ultimate demise of a lying, cheating stock broker featuring a lot of swearing, sex and drug use. This for me was my favourite film of 2014 and one I have watched over and over again. (If only for Leo). I personally believe he was robbed of that Oscar.

 The World Cup. Never ever a phrase I thought I would use in the same sentence as ''greatest moments'' but there's no denying I got pulled into the hype and excitement of all those overpaid adulterous men kicking a ball around. (Not sexist, accurate). A particular highlight for me was when Brazil scored an own goal, then later proceeded to lose 7-1 to Germany. Even I realised the huge enormity/embarrassment Brazil faced at this stage of the competition.

The infamous ''Oscar selfie'' containing more A Lister per square inch than any other photo in existence. Whether you're partial to a selfie or not, I think we were all in awe at celebrities of such a high calibre jumping on the bandwagon and posing for a photo.

Frozen broke almost every record going and taught impressionable young girls everywhere '' hey its ok to be alone'' and that actually, you don't always need a man/Disney Prince to rescue you. With subtle feminism and a song so irritatingly fun to sing Frozen is now the most successful animated film of all time. Well played Elsa.

Apple and Facebook planned to cover the cost of freezing the eggs of their female employees.The motivation behind this aside it being an obvious ''perk of the job'' is that it allows working women more flexibility and control over when they decide to reproduce, and not being dictated to by their biological clocks. A controversial issue and one that has feminists up in arms on both sides, I think such large corporations offering benefits to women is great and a huge leap forward towards equality in the workplace. 

 The Lego Movie came out and was AWESOME! I've lost count of how many times I've seen this film. At 23, I'm confident I'm not the only one who appreciates the immediate mood booster associated with watching it. Hugely successful and funny for all ages this was my favourite kids film of the year. 

Angelina Jolie's impressive speech about the use of sexual violence at war. I will be the first to admit I'm team Aniston all the way and stealing someone else's husband is never ok, but in terms of her political stance and her powerful speech to the UN Jolie smashed it, and has brought light to such a taboo subject. With all the conflict happening around the world at any given point often the women in those areas are forgotten about, but in time hopefully rape will no longer be used as an act of violence, and considered ''inevitable'' at war.

I wonder what 2015 will bring? Calorie free pizza? The demise of ISIS? Here's hoping...

Happy New Year! 

7 things NOT to do this Christmas

The festive season is often associated with overindulgence. Which is all well and good - but everything in moderation people. Using inspiration from my beautiful friend Ellen and my own personal experiences on previous years, here are 7 things to avoid doing this festive season.

1) It's always good to avoid getting so drunk on Christmas Eve you spend most of Christmas Day hungover. Your mum/aunty/grandparents will have spent all day cooking for you to struggle to keep anything down. You'll be rubbish company and everyone will be pissed off about it. Christmas Day is only once a year and you can go out and get hammered any other of the 364 nights of the year without ruining Christmas for everyone. Be sensible and be aware of the guilt trip you're in for if you spend all day in bed Christmas Day.

2) Eating an entire selection box/Quality Street tin to yourself in one sitting. This won't be good for your waistline and you'll just feel sluggish and crap afterwards. This is easily done so it's best to strategically position the chocolate so it isn't easy to consume the entire thing in 15 minutes. It'll also help avoiding the inevitable ''who ate all the bloody chocolates?'' argument when family members notice they've disappeared.

3) Listening to ''All I Want For Christmas Is You'' so many times that texting your ex/neighbour/milkman seems like a really good idea.  When in a wine/Quality Street induced state it's often hard to distinguish what are your genuine feelings and what's just you feeling sentimental because of Mariah Carey bleating on in the background. But approach with caution. If you wouldn't say it to them on January 1st don't say it on December 25th.

4) Definitely do not confess your love for your boss at the work Christmas party under any circumstances or any alcohol influence. (Unless you do love him, but that's a whole other blog post). I won't even elaborate on this one as it should be pretty obvious but you'll only make work horrifically awkward for yourself and spend the next 3 months avoiding walking past his desk for as long as possible. His wife won't be happy either. It's also wise to avoid turning up dressed like this:

(Unless you work in a strip club, in which case crack on).

5) Be ungrateful. No word of a lie, one year my dad got me and my brother ''humorous Post It Notes'' as a present and I managed to force a smile and be grateful. People don't always get their presents 'spot on' but to avoid looking like a massive brat and hurting anyone's feelings gratitude and appreciation should be shown at all times. And for the record those Post It Notes did come in handy eventually...

6) Avoid leaving Christmas shopping till the last minute. I work in retail and can only imagine the hoards of blokes that'll be panic buying their significant other presents the day before Christmas. For god's sake you have 364 days to prepare for Christmas there is no excuse for leaving things so late. By that point a lot of Christmas stock has run out so they'll be pretty limited options available. And she'll definitely be able to tell if it was something bought in a mad panic rather than a lovely, well thought out gift. ''A lint roller? Really?''

7) Most of all, don't forget that Christmas for many is a religious holiday, and for all is a time for family, fires and Trivial Pursuit. So don't stress, be ungrateful or get so hammered you openly admit the sprouts are horrible. Have fun, be gracious and above all enjoy the most wonderful time of the year.

My New Year resolutions

2014 has been an awesome year for me (give or take a few crap months). I've worked loads, passed the first year of my degree, lost loads of weight (and then gained it back). It's now the time of year where I think about what I would want to see in 2015 and any changes I can make to better myself. New Year's Eve is fast approaching YAY. Here is my ambitious list of changes I hope to make come January 1st.

1-Take better care of my skin. I'm quite fortunate with my skin so I haven't had to invest in any expensive products to keep it clear (as of yet) but after working on a make up counter and learning more about skincare I realise taking care of your skin is massively important; especially as I start to push into my mid 20s (cry forever). It seems like one of those things that the sooner you start it the less of a chore it'll be down the line, Currently lusting after some Liz Earle products! Along with this resolution comes drinking more water which is directly related to improving skin and aids with resolution #4 :).

2-Actually attend uni lectures. Any of my uni friends reading this will probably laugh/scorn.  Working 2 jobs this year has meant my uni attendance has suffered - which is massively counter productive in the long run! A re-jig of my priorities is in order I suspect...Goodbye bed hello 9ams.

3-Save money for a holiday/nice bag instead of buying 300 cheaper ones (or whatever the financially responsible equivalent of shopping is).  I'm notoriously bad with money and putting a little aside each month is bound to work out way more productive than my current spending habits. Paying off my debts definitely needs to be a priority in 2015.

4-Lose weight and maintain it! My weight fluctuates by about 2 stone depending on my diet/exercise regime but I definitely am at a size now where I'd be happy to lose some, and then keep it off. The only way I see myself achieving this is by making healthy lifestyle changes as opposed to ''going on a diet'' for the 23rd time that month. I plan to eat much smaller meals throughout the day, a lot more fruit and veg and a lot less pizza! Time to delete the Papa Johns iPhone app...

5-Be more grateful for what I have. Sounds cringe and cliché but I take a lot of what I have for granted and I'd like to think in 2015 I'll make more of an effort to appreciate who and what I have in my life. I'm lucky that I have a relatively functional family around me, a fit boyfriend (ha) and enough clothes to last me 3 years. It's time I start appreciating these things. Even in fits of rage when the washing up still hasn't been done. sigh

6-Go Vegan?? This is kind of on my ''maybe'' list. Truth be told I don't eat a lot of meat as it is and rarely drink milk, the only dairy I consume regularly is cheese because I'm in love with it. But from a health perspective I think my dietary habits (and waistline for that matter) would be in a much better state if I could cut out all dairy (and the tiny amount of chicken I eat). To be continued...?

7-Watch less of the Kardashians and equally crap TV. I despise everything Kim Kardashian stands for and by watching that awful show all I'm doing is fuelling the self absorbed, vanity obsessed fire which I personally have serious issues with swallowing. I admire anyone's ability to make a load of money by doing sweet eff all but I find the example she and her sisters set for impressionable young girls quite disturbing. ''Let me break the internet with a photo of my massive, inhumanely fake butt'' yeah your daughter's gonna love that when everyone on the playground has seen her mum's bits. #SLORE

What New Years Resolutions do you plan to make?

Santa baby

Christmas is my favourite time of year ever ever ever. Aside from the obvious giving and receiving of presents it's romantic, my family try not to argue for the duration of the day and it's an excuse to eat three times your recommended calorie intake. What's not to love?

I normally start writing my ''Christmas list'' in June like an over excited 4 year old but this year I've left it relatively late. Here's a very ambitious list of things I'd really like to open Christmas day...

[plus my dad/boyfriend read my blog and there's no harm in hinting]

Firstly - I am nowhere near as spoilt as this list indicates. This list is almost a ''if money were no object'' kind of thing.

A Fitbit - A serial yo-yo dieter I go through phases of being utterly obsessed with exercise to not giving a damn. This amazing gadget not only tracks your calorie burn but also monitors your sleep pattern - which by trial and error will allow you to sleep more soundly. It tells you how long you slept and if you woke up at all. It also tracks your steps, distance travelled so will make losing weight/calorie monitoring much easier. Hooray! The strap itself looks a lot more comfortable than other calorie counters on the market. For obvious reasons its imperative I get it in pink. Duh

The Too Faced Beauty Wishes & Sweet Kisses gift set - I've said it before and I'll say it again - I love Too Faced Cosmetics! This particular gift set includes 3 lush eyeshadows, 2 bronzers & a lipgloss. The Snow Bunny bronzer is one of my all time favourites so I'm dead excited at the prospect of getting another one. [In the time it has taken for me to write this post I have ordered this for myself. Patience is not a virtue I possess clearly.]

DISNEYLAND! I went to Disneyland earlier this year and I loved it. I am determined to drag my poor, long suffering boyfriend back there whether its against his will or not. The happiest place on earth is top of my list for 2015!

Emporio Armani Watch - I think this particular one is feminine and dainity and will go with absolutely anything.If I'm not fortunate enough to get it for Christmas it'll be a student loan day present to myself in January. Haters gon' hate.

Ted Baker Coat - How beaut is this coat? Definitely not a colour to everyone's taste but I love it. The most expensive thing on my list and with zero to none chance of me getting it - a girl can dream right? I love trench coats as I feel like they're a dressing gown it's socially acceptable to wear outdoors. So the fact this one is pink really speaks to me. Plus given the hefty price tag (£399!) and that it's Ted Baker its guaranteed to be well lined, good quality and last for many winters to come. I would almost consider it an investment ;)

Alien perfume - the perfume I have repurchased more than any other. I truly believe this perfume to be very unique and doesn't smell quite like anything else on the market. A very evening/night out scent, I wear it all bloody day.


So this is my round up of superficial things I'd like to open Christmas Day. What are you asking for this year? Is your list more modest than mine?

 On a side note, there are definitely more important things about Christmas than the presents. But there's no harm in indulging in the commercial side of it if only a little ;) This is a great time to donate any of your unwanted items to charity so someone perhaps less fortunate can too open something lovely on Christmas Day.

7 things you learn while being a student

I have had a nightmare 2 weeks at uni. Deadlines coming out my ears with various misspelled assignment briefs has left relatively straightforward assignments 100 times harder. When I sit and think about what I've actually learned this year, I feel I've learned more in terms of ''how to survive uni'' than anything particularly marketing related. Which is great given the amount of debt I'm getting in to study marketing. Awesome. Below are the 7 things I've learned:

1) It doesn't matter how much notice you're given on an assignment deadline, you will leave it till the last minute and have numerous nervous breakdowns 48 hours before it's due in. You will then vow to never leave it that late again before starting - but of course, you never really learn. Procrastination is rife and watching Harry Potter start to finish is vastly more important than starting your 3,500 word report.

2) The importance of Coffee/energy drinks/your energy boost of choice. Largely tied in with the point above, without coffee I would never have the energy or willpower to stay up till 2am the day before a deadline finishing off an assignment. In fact before coming to uni I never even drank coffee. I owe at least 50% of my degree to coffee. God bless you.

3) Coming to uni and going to lectures essentially means you're paying 9 grand a year to watch someone talk over a Powerpoint presentation. That's pretty much it. (I hope for the love of god none of my lecturers ever stumble across this I can't see it going down well) But yeah. A bit depressing when you think of the utter ball ache assignments are in comparison to the role they actually play in it,

4) There is nothing more soul destroying than group work. It makes you question whether or not you're a sociopath due to your pure hatred for having to interact with other human beings to get a piece of work done. More often than not it's left till the last minute which results in mad panic meetings the day before the deadline. I see a trend appearing...

5) With looming deadlines, daily lectures and other social commitments sleep soon becomes a luxury rather than a god given right. I, for the past 2 weeks have realised how much I in fact take sleep for granted. There's a common misconception that all students do is nap all day. I'd like to know who these students are and what they're studying.

6) The library, the place you scoffed at during your first year is now your second home. The only place that is dull enough to make doing assignments the more appealing option. Before deadlines I've calculated I've actually spent more time in the library than in my own house - unbelievably depressing.

7) Declaring yourself poverty stricken 3 weeks after your student loan has been and gone. Doesn't matter how much or how little you're entitled to, it just never stretches far enough. The gap from September to January is a never ending cycle of eating whatever discounted, inedible food Tesco have on offer/weird concoctions you can create with what's left in the fridge. How are we expected to pay rent and go out 4 times a week with this?

So any sixth formers reading this wondering whether to go to uni or not - do it. It's SO worth it..


Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Bring back the sisterhood

People can be very unkind to each other. For 80% of my childhood I was picked on for one thing or another ''your ears stick out'' ''your eyes are too far apart''  etc etc. Until the age of 18 I rarely wore my hair up due to the insecurities in bedded in me due to bullies picking on me for my ears.

Today I caught sight of myself in a shop window while wearing my hair up and noticed my ears. But rather than thinking ''bugger me jug ears'' I realised how far I'd come in relation to letting go of being paranoid about something so trivial and wearing my hair up regardless of the taunts I once suffered. I then thought you know what? I wanna share this.

Being obsessed with makeup is one thing but true self acceptance - staring your flaws in the face and being ok with them is the first step towards self love. (With the exception of Adam Levine) nobody's perfect. Everyone regardless of how poised they appear on the outside have parts of themselves they aren't crazy about - and that's life. Imperfections are what make us unique. But learning to love yourself regardless of these and accepting yourself for who you are is the first step towards self acceptance - and believe me one you accept yourself for you all you'll want to do is compliment everyone and make them feel good too. A compliment can totally make someone's day and may even help them to see themselves in a better light. Self confidence is life changing.

We as women have the worst reputation for backstabbing each other ''it's all that oestrogen'' - possibly the worst and most offensive stereotype ever. Rather than spending time knocking each other's bodies, life choices, clothes etc we should be encouraging each other to be the best we can be. We have enough trouble juggling work, uni deadlines, rent and all the other crap we have to deal with without added female fuelled drama. Just because we all have ovaries doesn't mean it's ok to be total bitches to one another. Let's rise above it girls.

The idea of a sisterhood, a society within society whereby women empower each other as opposed to wanting to claw each other's eyes out is the dream. The sooner we accept ourselves and stop projecting negative energy on each other the sooner we'll be rid of the awful stereotype that ''women are all bitches''. More often than not nastiness and bullying is a defence mechanism - so I say we nip this in the bud and just accept ourselves warts and all.

And if Mean Girls taught me one thing it's ''Calling somebody else fat won't make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter. And ruining Regina George's life definitely didn't make me any happier. All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you.''

That and it's totally acceptable to go out in your underwear on Halloween. 

Smashbox Studio Skin

When I find a new beauty product I actually love everyone needs to knows about it. My boyfriend will pretend to listen to me bleat on about it for ages because it's actually quite a rarity. So many products claim to reduce pores, even out skin tone, do your washing up for you and very few actually deliver on any of their promises. You'd only need to see how many foundations I've accumulated over the years to realise this.

I've been on the look out for a full coverage foundation to wear on nights out and the morning after nights out (I'm an eye bag lady). Cue Smashbox Studio Skin foundation! I was lucky enough to score a free full size one of these due to Smashbox's promotional event ''Foundation Friday''. Best freebie ever! Smashbox is a brand that is relatively new to me but I have to say I am desperately falling in love with it. Genuine quality, no gimmicky packaging and reasonably priced for premium makeup. It's a winner.

The coverage of this foundation is on another level. The best part of which is you don't need to apply much to achieve medium to full coverage. One application is more than enough to get a perfect looking complexion from top to bottom. I got the shade 2.2 due to my incessant need to fake tan - and I have to say this is a very very good match for my faux skin tone. It also claims to have hydrating properties which basically means it won't dry you out while you wear it - which is another massive bonus as with most foundations I've tried (except bareSkin) my skin is haggered and dry at the end of the day. Not with Studio Skin. My skin feels as if I haven't worn anything.

Now for the best part.....due to the fact Smashbox as a brand started behind the scenes on photo shoots and runway shows all their makeup looks exceptional in photos flash or no flash. My skin in photos with this foundation on looks like it was crafted by Jesus Christ himself. Beautiful. So if you, like me take 3972 photos on nights out/days in/any occasion this foundation is perfection. The fact it stays put for 15 hours is also great for nights out - I wore this on a night out recently and didn't need to reapply or touch up at all it was a makeup revelation for me. (Normally by 1 am my foundation is sliding off my face and making a dash for my neck. Not ideal)

Studio Skin is £28 and worth it! It was love at first pump for me (?!) and I can tell you now if you're looking for a medium to full coverage foundation you'll love it too. For best results apply after a primer and you'll have beaut makeup sorrrrrrted.

Too Faced Melted Kisses

I LOVE Too Faced cosmetics. The feminine packaging and the high quality products mean it is in my top 3 favourite beauty brands easily. It is a little hard to come across in the UK (which, being a typical female just makes me want it more) so I order all my Too Faced products either on ASOS or Boots.com. To this day I have never been disappointed with any of the products I've bought.

Today I'm focusing on a Christmas Gift but in all honesty is something I just bought for myself. Incapable of waiting for anything let alone December I ordered Melted Kisses ''The Ultimate Liquified Longwear Lipstick Set''. This set includes 4 deluxe sizes of the most popular liquified lipstick Too Faced offers, Melted Berry, Melted Fuchsia, Melted Peony & Melted Nude. (my favourite!) The beauty of these is that they are so nourishing but with the same great depth of colour you'd expect to get from a full-blown lipstick. Sometimes with other lipstick brands I shall leave unnamed MAC my lips feel really dry after about half an hour of wear and go all gross and flaky- not with these babies. They are just the right middle ground between a lipstick and a lipgloss while embodying the best of both. One application lasts bloody ages as well, I applied one coat and it lasted 2 hours before needing any touch ups!

As you can just about see from the swatches on my orange claw hand each shade is very pigmented, perfectly creamy and has a slight shine to it without looking too much like a gloss (and without the stickiness). The lipstick comes out onto a soft velvet brush attached to the tube, so no messy pumping action needed. Each shade is gorgeous with Melted Nude quickly becoming my all time favourite for day to day wear.

If you're new to Too Faced but like the look of these lipsticks I'd definitely recommend this set - £22 for 4 when a full size retails for £19! link! (Or if you're more selfless than me and don't fancy buying it for yourself whack it on the old Christmas list).

(This shade above is one I ordered previously in the full size and is the shade Melted Violet. I absolutely adore this colour and is so different to anything I've tried before. #nofilter)

The power of primer

Until I started working on a makeup counter very recently I was always really sceptical of foundation primers. I had the naive view that they were unnecessary and just a beauty company's way of getting us to spend money on more makeup than we actually need. I tended to moisturise and then put foundation directly onto my skin. I had the view that the closer the foundation was to my natural skin the better the result right? Wrong.

I was recently sent a Laura Mercier Foundation Primer in My Little Box and oh my god its amazing. This isn't a brand I would typically use myself and so the fact I got it in a subscription box was a massive bonus and gave me the kick in the right direction that I needed regarding primers and actually adequately preparing my skin before foundation.

I've used it for just under a week now and holy shit. The difference it makes to my foundation is unreal. I pretty much have a compact mirror permanently attached to my hand throughout the day so I can keep an eye on my makeup and quickly fix any mishaps but with primer on my makeup stayed put all day - even when at work (which is quite an accomplishment really especially given that I wear enough makeup to comatose a rhino.)

Just a pea sized amount all over the face after moisturising meant my makeup went on smoother and lasted longer. I didn't have to touch up at all when I had this on which is pretty unheard of for me. Usually I find my concealer doesn't sit well for the entire duration of the day and foundation around my lips can wear away but not with primer on. It stays put without going cakey or wearing away. Result.

This particular primer is white and quite creamy in consistency. I haven't needed to use much to get the desired amount of coverage which is always good. If you've been a primer sceptic like me definitely give one a go. It's still relatively early days for me and so far I've only used this one brand but I'm definitely looking to try a few other brands and possibly a tinted primer - bareMinerals BB primer anyone? ;)

How to get over a ridiculously melodramatic meltdown - by the ultimate drama queen

I have a really bad habit of allowing insignificant things bother me more than they should. When something negative happens I dwell on it, lose sleep and generally become a miserable soulless muppet going over the situation in my head to no avail. But I've decided that there really isn't much point allowing things that are out of your control affect you - obviously this is easier said than done but I wanted to share a few things that always make me feel better. I realise this topic has been written about to death but instead of ''look on the bright side'' rubbish I've mentioned things that work for me rather than hoping to meet a unicorn on the walk home who can take me away from it all. Positivity is great but airy fairy ''life is a journey'' crap doesn't really help anyone.

Shopping. Anyone that knows me will have seen that one coming. Curse my predictable nature. But there is definitely something to retail therapy. You can tell how many ''down days'' I have based on how many online deliveries I get. PMT? There's a dress for that. Bad day at work? New shoes! Argument with a friend? Hello 45 new shades of lip gloss. When you're feeling down, treating yourself to something is always a mood booster even if only for a while. And if it's an argument with a boyfriend I find slamming doors while he's asleep does the trick. 

Exercise. Right, I know exercise releases endorphins that make your brain happy yadayadayada but I'm not a fitness expert so I'm not even gonna pretend to be going at it from that angle. ''Looking good is the best revenge'' and by going to the gym/walk/swimming you're doing something that is actually beneficial to you. In every possible way. Being self-indulgent in a fitness sense is the best type of self indulgence so channelling negative energy into something positive is great. Plus how can you not feel better doing the stride of pride out the gym after a decent workout? [insert mandatory gym brag tweet]

Justin Timberlake. Whenever I'm sad, I listen to Cry Me A River. Suddenly when I think of my problem compared to Justin getting cheated on by Britney with his best mate and writing 32 songs about it gives me a bit of perspective on my situation. Things could be worse couldn't they. Or I think about Lindsay Lohan and that definitely sheds some perspective on my problem. For the love of god girl get it together. 

I truly believe sleep to be the holy grail of improving a bad mood. (Aside for the first 10 minutes after waking up when you just want food and to never be spoken to again). When I'm sad or down a nap always perks me up and things that seemed horrendous pre-nap are a bit more bearable post-nap. Day time naps are the way forward and as a student I practice this belief aaaall the time.

Wine with friends. A problem shared is a problem halved and all that and providing your friends are happy to listen to you bleat on for hours about your life, a bottle of wine always helps the process along. Ain't no party like a pity party. This is always a good excuse for gossip too - and who doesn't secretly love a bit of gossip? Friendship can make the biggest of problems seem more manageable, so I strongly advise in getting the girls round for wine time.

Get your nails done girl! Never have I had a bad mood that wasn't momentarily improved by a bangin' manicure. Same goes for eyelashes, eyebrows and spray tans. These bad days we have are what keeps the beauty industry thriving!

If none of the above work in at least temporarily easing your post 'meltdown' mood - there's always the obvious solution and that is tackling it face on. But if you're like me - an incessantly annoying people pleaser this isn't always easy. But stick up for yourself. Be heard. Talk about things that are bothering you and you'll be surprised how quickly the issue is resolved. If there are changes you can make to aid towards alleviating the problem do them. Be proactive and all that jazz. And if that fails there's always Jeremy Kyle.

7 girl things we shouldn't have to justify

Being a girl is great fun. But as time goes on things that were once considered socially acceptable are sometimes frowned upon. Below is a list of things I personally do regularly that I don't think we should ever have to apologise for/feel ashamed of. Embrace your ovaries!

1) Wearing ''too much''/not enough makeup. Makeup is down to personal preference and I personally love it. There really shouldn't be any judgement associated with how much a person decides to wear. Good god don't even get me started on this issue. Go ahead and wear 4 layers of lip gloss with pride its got bugger all to do with anyone else. On the same note, there really shouldn't be any shame associated with not wearing loads of makeup. Or in fact any makeup at all. It's personal preference people! It's your face, rock it however you wish. - (although a bit of mascara never killed anyone - just sayin).

2) Eating the entire contents of a multi bag of crisps/4 muffins/a whole Galaxy bar in one sitting. My stance on this is providing you aren't doing it too often a little bit of what you fancy isn't against the law - knock yourself out. Sometimes you've eaten them all before you even know what's happened.

3) Going to the gym too often/not enough. This, again is down to personal preference and if you have the determination and willpower to go everyday you go girl! People in the past have criticized me and my gym habits but I'm gonna do what I'm gonna do. Equally, skipping the gym once in a while isn't going to make you fat and often rest days are the best days. It's all about balance so don't feel ashamed if you miss a session. Just get back on the wagon the following day and all is well with the world. But if you do have the motivation to get up and go do it!

4) Deciding which hotel/bar to go to based on whether or not they have wifi. It's 2014 and wifi is pretty much essential for the majority of us so don't feel ashamed if it's in your top priorities when picking places to go, The first thing I ask when arriving anywhere is ''is there wifi?'' First world problems.

5) Crying at the last episode of Friends/Sex and the City regardless of the fact you've already seen it 3 times this month. As soon as Rachel says ''I got off the plane'' I'm in bits. They just belong together ok.

6) Listening to the Spice Girls/any other ancient manufactured music considered 'crap' by some men and hipsters. I've been listening to the Spice Girls since I was 5 and I will continue to do so 20 years later. Ginger Spice taught me everything I know about girl power and controversial or not - had me believing in the feminist movement from a very early age. Zigazig ah. 

7) Having a day/night where you ignore all your calls and texts. Obviously if your best mate's in labour this is probably inappropriate but I think every so often having some time where you ignore the outside world and enjoy some alone time is great. Do not disturb mode is nearly always switched on on my iPhone and I bloody love it. Nobody's interrupting me watching America's Next Top Model for nothin'. 

I realise this list kind of embraces all the stereotypical things girls supposedly do and I'll be the first to put my hand up and say - yeah I am a muffin eating, Friends weeping wannabe Spice Girl.

The importance of sweatpants Sundays

These days in our overworked, underpaid 24/7 world relaxation is often a luxury rather than a given. With endless bills, 8 hour working days and the constant stress associated with having to endure Louis Walsh on X Factor, we could all do with a day off. Sometimes, you need to be selfish and just take care of you. Just one day a week of doing bugger all and pottering around the house should be mandatory. And there's nothing more comfortable to do this in than sweatpants.

Karl Lagerfeld once said “Sweatpants are a sign of defeat. You lost control of your life so you bought some sweatpants.” I disagree. Sweatpants are the most comfortable alternative to just strolling around naked and I think one day a week they should be mandatory. They by no means mean you've lost control of your life, if anything they indicate the total opposite. You've worked/partied so hard all week you're comfortable allowing yourself a day off. Go with it.  I always try and look polished and well put together during the week, so Sundays are a braless - sweatpants-full day of rest and I love it.
And I'll be damned if I put a scrap of makeup on on a Sunday. 

An important part of every beauty routine and staying healthy in general is allowing yourself some downtime.  When you don't get enough sleep or your body begins to feel overworked you'll start to break out, hair won't look as healthy and you'll just feel crap in general.

Relaxation is imperative for good skin. Make it a priority. This mindset also allows you time to refocus and recover from the working week, which is also good for mental health. Feeling stressed and over stretched is unpleasant and can have adverse side effects on your health so make 1 day a week a sweatpants day. No excuses are required, sweatpants re the universal sign of ''I'm not getting off the sofa today so don't even ask'' - like a get out of jail free card for being lazy. Enjoy it.  

Barbie joggers are my favourite - no judgement

So whether you're recovering from a weekend of wine or a week of work embrace the universal day of rest. Don your sweatpants and make the most of doing absolutely nothing. It's good for your skin after all. Any judgement from others is likely to be jealously. For extra health benefits drink loads of water/green tea. Your skin will look better than ever come Monday.

The 7 stages of shopping online

''STOP. Step away from the laptop'' is something I wish someone would yell at me before I purchase my 65th perfume, 32nd blusher and replacement microwave I decided 10 minutes ago was a necessity. Yesterday I ordered a maxi dress knowing full well I won't be able to wear it till April next year at the earliest. Ridiculous. This is a familiar pattern for me, you'd only need to ask John the DHL guy or the miserable postman (Thursdays & Saturdays).  Given the general misery on the postman's face each day I highly doubt I'm the only one with such habits, so below I've listed the 7 stages I go through when shopping online in the vain hope that I'm not alone...

1) ''I'm just gonna look on ASOS but not buy anything'' said no one ever. This is virtually impossible. My dad once said ''you spend so much on ASOS you should be a shareholder'' and he's not wrong. But browsing ASOS or similar sites results in realising you need 10 items of clothing you didn't even know existed 10 minutes ago. At this point, all that matters is getting to the checkout before they sell out in your size. GO GO GO

2) Once you've placed your order self justification sounds something like ''but I really need that black pair of heels that are identical to my other 23 pairs of black heels!'' Whether you're justifying it to yourself or someone else you are guaranteed to find an excuse for ordering something you really, could live without need. This is a necessity. This pair of shoes/bra/blusher is going to change my life. Honest!

3) Immediate regret. After the initial adrenaline rush of ordering subsides you realise that actually, you probably don't need them and that £65 could have been better spent elsewhere. Oh and O2 has decided this is the optimal time to remind you that  you haven't paid your phone bill yet. Bugger. Oh well. Those shoes were an investment and you'll definitely have an excuse to wear them eventually.
e.g. when you're taken to court for not paying your phone bill

4) The anticipation whilst waiting for a delivery is intense. You watch the clock. You tweet about it. You stand and look out the window waiting for the postman to turn up. You tweet about it again. It's all very exciting and probably the best part of online shopping. It's almost as if everyday is like Christmas right? If you're like me and you order in such a mad frenzy you forget half of what you've bought until it arrives then it really is like a present to yourself.

5) It's arrived! You rip it out of the packaging with such velocity several nails are broken by the end but it's ok. You've got your 24th pair of black heels so all is well with the world. The postman is now your best mate and you're in a good mood for the rest of the day. God bless the internet.

This emoji is used a lot during the 5th stage. She's got her shit together. She knows. 

6)The inevitable Instagram post. If you don't Instagram about a new outfit/product you've bought it may as well not exist. It's the female equivalent to the male ''killer gym session brah'' brag status. If your friends and the 40 randomers that follow you don't know about it, it didn't happen. (#shopaholicproblems - for bonus points)

 7) It's the end of an era. The shoes have arrived. You've calmed down. The vicious cycle has come full circle finally. The shoes have been worn round the flat long enough for the novelty to have worn off and for them to be tidied away with your 23 other pairs.

Until next time ASOS, until next time. 

7 mysteries of the beauty universe

As great as makeup and cosmetics are there are a few unanswered questions you probably ponder every day. Why does my eyeliner never match? Why do I always run of conditioner before shampoo? Illuminati.  In this post I'm going to try and shed some light on some possible causes..

1)Where the hell do hair ties and grips go? Buying a pack of 60 means you'll be able to tie or pin your hair up at leisure for 3 weeks maximum - before they've all seemingly disappeared. Where do they go? Do they disintegrate after one use? Is my boyfriend stealing them? It's some kind of conspiracy to try get us to buy more I'm convinced. Even aiming to keep them in the same place doesn't help they still grow legs and go missing. Very odd. It's not even like they're really that expensive to replace but it's a real pain in the arse having to hunt around for hair stuff knowing you only bought them a week ago. 

2)Now I realise scientists definitely have bigger fish to fry and more important issues to tackle but why hasn't anyone invented a semi-permanent fake tan? Having to re-do it every week can be quite time consuming. Inventing some kind of semi-permanent product that lasts a month instead of a week would be a cosmetics miracle as far as I'm concerned. Plus I'm sure if there was a more semi-permanent solution more people would opt for the bottle instead of the sunbed, in turn reducing skin cancer numbers etc. Definite lifesaver. 

3)This one won't be applicable to those who don't wear false eyelashes but I'll throw it in anyway. I always seem to notice one end of an eyelash becoming unglued/loose when I'm in a situation where there's nothing I can do about it. Bugger. This never seems to happen when I've got time and equipment on my side to render the situation but always just before a date/interview/important meeting. This is an example of when cosmetics definitely isn't on my side. It's the best confidence boost ever when you're already shitting yourself for a job interview to then have the added worry of your eyelashes leaping off your face and landing on the table like a centipede. 

4)I say this 400 times a day but I really do love perfume. In the past 3 days alone I've bought 3 new bottles. But have you ever smelt someone else's perfume which smells gorgeous, gone to buy it yourself and it smells disgusting? Yep. Thierry Mugler Angel seems to smell amazing on everyone else but the second I apply it to my skin it smells like I've aged 50 years and had a fight with a cheap air freshener can. Yuck, I got a large bottle for Christmas 2 years ago and it still remains untouched.Obviously the whole thing about perfumery is about creating unique scents for different people and their skin chemistry etc etc I get that. But the difference in smell can be so vast between two people it always leaves me puzzled and a bit gutted my skin chemistry rejects ones that smell so good on others.

5)Shampoo and conditioner are definitely considered a necessity in this day and age and part of every person's beauty/hygiene routine (or I should hope so anyway) so I don't feel indulgent mentioning it. But why do we never run out of them at the same time? There's always some shampoo left when I chuck the matching conditioner bottle out. It seems obvious. ''It's because we typically use more conditioner per shower than shampoo'' but that isn't always true. On occasions where money has been tight I've tried to balance out how much I use and I still need to buy new conditioner before shampoo. This is not a coincidence there is a higher power at work here. Definitely not a coincidence. Nope. 

6)On the subject of hair - after a haircut why can we never get the style to look as good as when the hairstylist did it? Obviously hairstylists are professional and know what they're doing more so than me but after a new haircut I can never get it to look as good as the first styling before I walk out the salon. Even using the same products as the professional doesn't seem to help and I spend ages trying to emulate what they've done to no avail. One day I hope to earn enough to warrant having an on-call hair stylist but until then I'll just struggle on and deal with regular bad hair days. 

7)Saved the best 'til last. The biggest mystery of all. Eyeliner. There is a quote that goes something like ''never ask a girl with winged eyeliner why she's late'' and it's true. When applying eyeliner one eye always seems to go perfectly and how you want the other to look but despite using the exact same method the second eye never ever looks the same. This is a very lengthy process. Using the same products, application and doing them 2 minutes apart doesn't make a difference they still won't match. If anyone has found a solution to this royal pain in the arse I'd be truly grateful.

7 things more embarrassing than getting lipstick on your teeth

Although very quickly rectified, there's no denying the 3 second mortification associated with being told you have lipstick on your teeth. This is like the female equivalent of a bloke walking out the toilet with toilet roll on his shoe. But have some perspective. I think there are probably a few things that are equally - if not more embarrassing that happen in every day life that I've listed below to remind you that next time a complete stranger is staring at your mouth scrubbing their teeth with their finger - things could be worse.

Accidentally liking a tweet/Instagram post whilst stalking someone. Not bothered what anyone says on the contrary - everyone likes to have a little snoop on their exes/enemies now and again it's one of the benefits of social media. But accidentally favouriting something you shouldn't really be looking at in the first place is by far the worst thing that can possibly happen, ever. Knowing full well that regardless of how quickly you 'unlike' the post that person is gonna get a notification and know you've been snooping and you have to live with it. They've won that round!
Given that as previously mentioned I constantly have bits of plastic stuck to the end of my nails you can only imagine how many times this has happened to me...

Feeling smug in a new pair of shoes you've worn all day to then realise you haven't removed the annoying white sticker on the sole and now everyone knows you shop at Primark (no judgement). Manufacturers really ought to rethink their sticker placement because those stickers are impossible to remove and are a definite fashion faux pas.

Being caught taking a selfie isn't going to be considered embarrassing by a lot of people as these days it's considered the norm. But I personally try avoid snapchatting/selfie taking unless in the privacy of my own home as there's a definite 'self absorbed' connotation associated with openly taking photos of oneself in public...unless you're with another person in which case you share the embarrassment and it's totally fine. But sitting on a train and thinking you're alone to then realise there's a group of people sat 4 rows away that are watching you is always a massive cringe.

Causing a scene at self-checkouts. I HATE self-checkouts but I hate human interaction more so I always go to the self-checkout machine in a supermarket knowing full well it'll take twice as long, involve a lot of swearing and ''please place item in bagging area'' over and over again. Very rarely do I use a self-checkout without causing a scene and requiring assistance at least twice. This invention reassures me computers aren't really that intelligent and robots taking over the world is still a long way off.

Being told you look tired is basically being told you look like crap isn't it? Crawling into work to be greeted with ''awh you look knackered'' is not exactly a confidence boost. You spend the rest of the day paranoid about how you look overdosing on coffee to try look less ''knackered''. I'm not even sure what the correct response is to this so I avoid it as best I can with layers and layers of concealer. (All hail Mac Studio Fix concealer!)

Tripping over in public. This is a bit of an obvious one and has been depicted in cartoons (think slipping on banana skins) for as long as I can remember. But walking along feeling good with your iPod on to then trip over is always embarrassing. The immediate ''did anyone see that?'' thought process is always great fun too. Followed by a less than subtle scan of the area to see if anyone did in fact see. Due to the less than sensible choice of footwear I endure this happens to me a lot but only once have I legit fallen face flat. I never ever wore those shoes again. They were ridiculous wedges (which is largely why I think this whole thing about wedges being a 'better for your feet' alternative to heels is a load of rubbish) that we now utilise by using them as a hammer.

I have an iPhone permanently attached to my hand so I'm always pressing buttons by accident. And due to my exceptional taste in music on more occasions than I care to mention I've accidentally played music in a quiet room for everyone to turn around and wonder what's causing the noise. The only thing more embarrassing than that is the actual music playing. For me it always seems to be Backstreet Boys. I love me some Backstreet Boys but I realise it is actually 2014 and complete strangers in the hospital waiting room don't need to know that..

So next time someone brings your lipstick teeth to your attention remember it could be worse and they've probably got white stickers stuck to their shoes anyway.

7 things I couldn't wait to do when I was a kid that is now a pain in the arse

My childhood was short lived. By the age of 10 I was chasing boys and obsessed with reading about ''pop stars'' in Smash Hits magazine (shout out to all the nineties kids!) As early as I can remember I was wishing I was older, wanting to wear nicer clothes and be what I considered a proper adult. But with getting older comes a huge amount of responsibility not to mention an entirely new beauty routine.

Below are 7 things I couldn't wait to do as a girl that I now, for the most part resent.

Picking out my own clothes
In fairness to my parents I was always allowed a degree of control over what I wore. But there's no denying that phase of childhood where parents parade you around in some of the most horrific clothes imaginable. I remember as a child always being excited at the prospect of buying my own clothes and being able to completely avoid horrendous getups like this...

but it's bloody expensive. Clothes are easily my biggest expense and as much as I love them reverting back to a time where what I wear didn't matter would be nice - even if only for a day.

Shaving
This is a bit weird. Not entirely sure why but from an early age I couldn't wait to be old enough to be allowed to shave my legs. In fact in hindsight I went behind my dad's back and started doing it at about 10/11 regardless of whether or not I had permission. Shaving is a massive commitment. It's a part time job in itself, keeping on top of all the areas that need upkeep not to mention the cost associated with buying razors, shaving gel and the like. Now I'm in a position where its no longer a choice but a necessity I wish I hadn't started so young.

Plucking my eyebrows
From 2003 - 2009 I didn't really have any. Due to massive over plucking as a teen my eyebrows are almost none existent even today. (Thank god for eyebrow pencils!) Everyone warned me ''once you start you won't be able to stop'' and man were they right. Having to keep on top of eyebrow grooming is the thing I resent most on this list and find the most tedious. It takes bloody ages to get eyebrows back into an acceptable shape with very little reward. When was the last time someone complimented how well you've plucked your eyebrows? Exactly.

Wearing a bra
I have vivid memories of stuffing my bra with socks as a girl. I wanted boobs more than anything. Again, not entirely sure why. In retrospect I WISH I'd made the most of my 11 year old boy's figure, being able to sleep on my stomach comfortably, run around without being in pain etc. Wearing a bra is often uncomfortable and nowadays there's no greater feeling than taking your bra off after a long day.

Dying and cutting my hair
When I was 13 I dyed my hair red in a pub toilet. Since then my hair has gone from the blackest of blacks (epic life fail) to blonde and various shades in between. As I entered my teens my hair got darker and I couldn't wait to be able to dye it. Now it's an expensive pain in the arse. Blonde hair needs retouching every 6 weeks to avoid looking like a hood rat and it ain't cheap! If I could tell my 13 year old self something it would be leave your hair alone! (and for the love of god step away from the black dye)

Getting my nails done
I used to love having my nails painted as a kid and couldn't wait to be old enough to warrant getting a professional manicure. In fact I haven't not had my nails done in about 6 years. I love having neat nails and regardless of the annoyance they sometimes cause and how impossible they make texting I'll continue to get them done. However, there's no disputing the fact that when you think about it, paying 35 quid to have a complete stranger glue bits of plastic to your finger tips is actually quite extortionate.

Wearing heels
I love love love heels. If there's one thing I think is always a sound investment it's a nice pair of heels. I was stumbling around in my mum's shoes as soon as I could walk. I LOVED them. Something about them being exclusively for women and very girly meant I couldn't wait to wear them all the time! To a degree this is still true. I have more pairs of heels than I do friends and I'm ok with that. But there's no denying they aren't always the most comfortable footwear. Definitely designed by a man high heels can be borderline crippling and as much as it is individual choice to wear them once you've set yourself that standard it's hard to stop. I should have eased myself into it and learned to walk before I could run.

Overall as much as I absolutely adore 'embracing my femininity' I wish I hadn't wished it upon myself so young. I'll never get those boob-free years back and my eyebrows are still paying the price.

The importance of cosmetics

There's often a 'vanity obsessed' connotation associated with talking about a passion for makeup. People making the assumption that anyone that cares that much about what they look like must be superficial, often considered unintelligent and ''scared to break a nail!'' I can't even tell you how often people have assumed I'm stupid because of the way I look. But do I change how much makeup I wear? Not a chance.

Cosmetics is more than just putting some products on your face. Cosmetics is about enhancing what you've got and putting your best face forward. It's about adding confidence and perhaps disguising parts of your face you aren't crazy about. This shouldn't be seen as a negative thing. A bit of mascara or a face full of makeup can make the world of difference to a woman's confidence and allow them to face the day feeling good about themselves. It's about self expression and given that we are lucky enough to live in a society where women can make their own choices about the way they look I say embrace it.

 On occasion I've overheard people describe how much makeup a girl wears as ''false advertising'' and that they wouldn't pursue her because of it. That just makes me question their own superficiality if anything. Beneath the makeup is still a real person. Loads of makeup doesn't automatically equal a rubbish personality. If anything it's these judgemental people that give makeup and cosmetics a bad name. Just because someone chooses to wake up an hour earlier so they can leave the house feeling good about themselves is their own damn choice. Not everyone is comfortable with ''embracing their natural beauty'' and that should be down to their own discretion to decide. For every person that tells me I wear too much makeup I reapply lipgloss an extra time that day. Society wouldn't publicly bash women who don't wear makeup so why should it be acceptable to bash those that do?

There's always the ever present argument about how much money is an acceptable amount to spend on cosmetics. I recently visited The Mona Lisa in Paris and have never been so disappointed in my life. That painting is worth approximately 1.5 billion dollars (according to Wiki) and is so underwhelming. People will pay unbelievable amounts of money for art/cars/fashion so why should spending money on cosmetics be frowned upon? Surely how women spend their own disposable income is their own choice? And I personally believe if Mona Lisa was painted today Da Vinci would definitely have whacked some false eyelashes on her I'm just saying...

Feeling pride in one's appearance is not a crime and if applying makeup makes you feel better about yourself go right ahead. I always get satisfaction out of surpassing people's expectations they've made based on how much makeup I've got on. Society shouldn't be so quick to dismiss a face full of makeup as vanity. It is so much more than that.

Fashion lessons I learnt from watching chick flicks

Partial to a chick flick I've been watching them for as long as I can remember. A lot of them have been an integral part of me growing up and below are a few fashion lessons they taught me:

Clueless - Now it don't get any more nineties than Clueless. Who didn't want to be Cher?! Ever so slightly before my time (I was 3 when it came out) I have since watched it thousands of times. And there's one Clueless trend that has seen a massive comeback this year - coordinates. 4 years ago I'd have laughed in the face at the prospect of wearing an outfit that entirely matches. And now I wouldn't think twice. I love them.  I'm so fancy

Mean Girls - the most quotable film of all time bar none. This film actually taught me a lot and I think they should make all girls watch this before going to High School just as a heads up. But the fashion lesson I learned was wearing pink on Wednesdays should totally be like, the law. Pink is awesome and by Wednesday the weekend is in sight so knock yourself out and wear pink. I'd wear it everyday if I had enough pink clothes.

Bridget Jones -  I too have ''eaten entire contents of one's fridge'' and gone out dressed entirely in a bunny outfit. I think what Bridget Jones did for the ''control pants'' market is unprecedented. Everyone from Kim Kardashian to JLo have been snapped wearing them and you know what? That's ok. Bridget Jones brought light to the issue that actually we don't all have perfect figures and sometimes an extra layer of support/sucking in/pushing up can make an outfit look 100 times better and thus make us feel better about ourselves. Which really is the whole point of getting all dressed up. And unless you're being paid to endorse weight loss supplements (cough Kardashian cough) there's no shame in it. Spanx the shit out of yourself if it makes you feel better.

Sex and the City - Totally side stepping the fact it's financially impossible for Carrie to have lived the lavish lifestyle she led on a writer's wage I love love love SATC more than any other show. Obsesssssssed. If I was a sensible person what I should have taken from this show is how not to spend money. But unfortunately for my credit rating it taught me that if you like a dress/pair of shoes/ring - BUY IT. Probably the most financially irresponsible person alive it's easy for me to say but if you like something and it's within your means - buy it. Worry about the repercussions later.

Grease - Ha. A bit of a controversial one and I don't advocate dressing like a slut to get the bloke you like but hey, it worked for Sandy right? SO I guess the lesson to be had here is if the guy you like isn't paying you enough attention chuck on some skin tight disco pants, some red lipstick and he'll literally be crawling after you.

The 7 stages of getting ready for a night out

It's Saturday night. You've been looking forward to it all week and finally its here. The weekend!

For me, on more occasions than I'd like to admit getting ready for a night out has actually been the best part. But the question always remains - why does it take us so long to get ready? Blokes stereotypically moan about how long it takes so calling on my own experience I've whittled the military operation down into 7 stages: (don't worry if you don't experience each stage clearly you've just got your shit together) to try and shed some light on this weekly issue.

1)The ''fresh from the shower, lets sit in our towel for an hour and a half'' phase which I'm definitely guilty of. No idea why I do it, but I do. My brother's friends once asked if I actually own clothes due to them only ever seeing me in a dressing gown.

2)The ''I've got ages before I need to go out so I'm just gonna potter about'' phase where I've been known to alphabetise DVDs, organise my makeup drawer etc. Basically doing everything except anything productive. Overestimating how long I've got to get ready always leaves me in a mad panic 5 minutes before I need to be out the door.

3) Makeup. I'm sure the vast majority of humanity aren't as accident prone as me but doing my makeup for a night out always ends in powder, fake tan and just about everything else going everywhere. I've ruined several carpets in my time just by getting ready on them. Spillages a plenty the applying makeup phase is my favourite part of getting ready but definitely the messiest.

4) Once the face and hair is done its onto the ''but I have nothing to wear!'' panic attack whilst staring at a wardrobe rammed with clothes. We currently live in a culture where (rightly or wrongly) wearing the same thing more than once in a short space of time is frowned upon by Facebook/Instagram stalkers who will notice. My adherence to this definitely keeps ASOS in business.

5) Once the ''time to put some clothes on'' phase commences I change my outfit about 4 times before just putting back on what I originally chose. This particular phase annoys me the most - what was once a tidy wardrobe now looks like Primark on Boxing Day. Piles of clothes everywhere organising and tidying them up is definitely how you wanted to spend your Sunday morning hangover isn't it?

6) Perfume. Good grief. I love the stuff but before a night out you can smell my perfume application from about 3 doors down. There's something about going to a bar/club that warrants 4 times the recommended/socially acceptable amount of perfume. After the initial 10 minute spritz attack the bedroom is off limits to anyone who doesn't want to go out smelling like a baby prostitute  flower.

7) #SELFIE! Whether you post it or not is irrelevant - we all take selfies before we go out and finding the perfect lighting/pose means the taxi driver is sat outside waiting with the meter running but by 3 pre drinks down you don't even notice.